NOT MUCH HAS CHANGED

Everything feels very different at the moment given the current state of affairs, but the truth is not much has changed for me, which might be why I may be coping better than others in this climate. I’ve always been much of a loner and enjoy spending time by myself. In truth, I love it! This saw me lock myself up in my bedroom many a times, reading, drawing, writing and daydreaming.

I remember my mum coming to check in on me every now and again and she would always ask me the same question, “are you happy?” she’d say, and my response would always be a quiet nod. I suppose lying still in the dark with the blinds closed on a sunny day while my siblings (four of them to be precise) where out enjoying running around the compound in the sunshine. And then when it came time to visit family friends, I’d opt not to go and my dad would spend another ten minutes trying to get me out of the house cause they couldn’t leave me alone all by myself as a kid.

Stepping into adulthood, not much has changed either especially since working for myself. I’d say my job allows me to go out more for meetings, press events and travel. But when I’m not doing any of that, much of my daily routine involves staying in. And when I do go out to shoot, I always opt for the quiet and empty spaces.

Parties are okay if it’s a close friend hosting but I’ve never thrown one for myself and actually don’t really celebrate my birthday as such. I believe the last time I had an actual birthday party was when I was five years old.

Spending a lot of time alone with my thoughts has made me observant and sensitive at the same time. I’m good at seeing through the facade and falsehoods. And my sensitivity finds me assuming the burden of others which can be a challenge on its own. The latter has seen me avoid the news altogether because the world is already full of trepidation and I need no daily reminder of it. Some might call it denial, but I call protecting my headspace.

My lifestyle means I have very few friends but all of them I can call close friends. Of course they don’t all have the same personality and lifestyle as I do so they’re all coping with life quite differently. I do my best to check in on them every now and again. For starters I’ve told them to avoid the news as I can’t help but feel it has the potential to give more panic attacks and heart attacks before anything else gets to them. Also following the current guidelines of staying in and maintaining all the necessary hygiene and precautions. But also not forgetting to recommend some funny shows because it’s okay to laugh every now and again.

I always talk about taking an introspective approach to life in general. So if you find yourself feeling even more so alone now, it is important to remember that the whole world is facing the same issue. But most importantly is the opportunity to rediscover yourself under a new circumstance that has the potential to linger for a little while. And while the sun me be shining outside and you’re stuck in, we all have the potential to let a little light in to brighten what could seem a rather dry affair for most.

Thanks for reading “Not Much Has Change”. As always, feel free to follow me on Instagram where I post daily and subscribe to my YouTube channel for weekly videos.

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