This last week saw me doubting myself at almost every turn. Call me naive, but I didn’t think it’d be something that I expected to happen especially at this point. When I made the decision to take my blog full time, I was full of so much confidence so much so that nothing scared me. Almost as if I was on top of the world. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t lost my confidence, I just experienced a moment of weakness by letting certain fears occupy a space in my head. The thing with self doubt is that only you can really talk yourself out of it. Others may try to convince you otherwise regarding the things that make you question yourself. But if you’ve not managed to convince yourself, these doubts will linger on. The effects of this is often very crippling. Almost as if you’ve experienced some kind of mind paralysis. You’re stuck with these thoughts and you can’t find your way out. Having experienced this a number of times, I know exactly what it feels like to allow myself get caught up in it.
I’m a strong believer in learning from past experiences. One of my favourite speakers phrased it rightly; success leaves clues. I always tend to think back to the last time something similar happened and try to figure out how I managed to get myself out of it. Seeing that my time is valuable being my own boss means I cannot afford to lose any of it wallowing in something negative for too long. To regain control of my mind, I went out for walks which is always a good idea. Getting a bit of fresh air and a change of environment is a great place to start. Giving more thought to this, I felt it was time to plan another short holiday so I got one booked for September. I listened to Holocene by Bon Iver over and over again. Although, it could be described as a sad song, it does tend to get me writing in my journal thus allowing my creative juices to flow. I faced my fears by revisiting my old work to see how far I’ve come which is always a good source of inspiration. That’s why I never delete old posts. It serves as a good reminder of progress to myself and others alike. It makes me feel even more human cause I know I started from somewhere and now I’m here.
I’m excited to say the weekly vlogs will be making a comeback on my YouTube channel so be prepared to see more of me. I’m looking forward to sharing my new life and hopefully give you folks some insight as to what it’s like to pursue a career in blogging. I’ve got a few projects lined up and looking forward to taking you all along with me.