For the past couple of weeks I’ve been asking myself the same question over and over again. What is going on? This is mostly due to the events that have taken place very recently in the UK. Also, hearing troubling stories from friends sharing difficult experiences is making all kinds of worried. It’s very easy for me to think worse case scenarios in the face of difficult times. Trying to gain control of my thoughts is something I’m learning which isn’t easy especially with someone like me who tends to bottle a lot in. I was away in Mykonos when I woke up to the news of the attack in Manchester. I remember going through the motions in my mind and finding a way to make peace with it as I always try to do to avoid my thoughts spiralling out of control. When I returned back to Manchester, I could tell that things were different. My Church happen to be located in St Ann’s Square where flowers and messages of condolences are being put down. I and Craig were asked to volunteer on Saturday to help with the candle stands in the Church as people kept coming in to light candles in memories on the people who lost their lives. It was hard to watch people cry. One thing that was clear though was how it’s brought people together. I remember the curate saying to me how a man wanted to buy a condolence card from the book stand and was short of fifty pence. She said, a number of people waiting in line to sign the condolence book offered to give him the fifty pence which was very beautiful to watch. It made me hopeful. But sadly, that same night, another attack would take place in London.
As much as I appear somewhat public with my life by sharing on my blog and social media, it’s sometimes very hard for me to gather my thoughts when bad things happen. All I want to do is be alone and listen to music that somehow holds a meaning to it all and eases my worries. One that makes me feel like everything will be okay. Having accidentally stumbled upon “Jane The Virgin”, I can’t help but think it’s fate. Something about the way things can go all so wrong but somehow they manage to find their way back to a place where everything was fine even in the midst of troubles. Trying times are to be expected and they draw strength from the relationships they have. Something about the music when kind words are spoken make me want to tear up from all the emotions I’ve been bottling inside. Laughter is not absent too because tears of joy is proof that it will all be okay, again. As I write this post I’ve got Moody Jane playing in the background and I can’t help but hold on to the feeling of hope. Hope for a better us, and hope for a better world.